A Love Like Winter
by Rhiannon A. Christy
Summary: Jane had always felt a discontent, a sense of not belonging in the world she lived. After the encounter with the Destroyer, Jane begins to understand why. Lokane Oneshot


Jane had always felt out of place with the rest of the world, as though she somehow didn't belong there. There was always a discontent about her, a feeling of wrongness that she just couldn't be rid of. As a child she had tried to fill it with fairy stories, but they only increased the restlessness inside of her, sending her into periods of deep depression.

Her parents had sent her to doctor after doctor, but no amount of pills or treatments seemed to help. She continued to sink lower and lower, the despair dragging her down into the darkest pits of her subconscious. The dreams had begun then, blurry nightmares that left her cold when she woke the next morning.

The dreams, the discontent, the longing and lust for something she could not name. It all drove her into the arms of science, where, for a time, she found her mind settling. For a time she was calm, her dreams left her warm and she could say she was happy. At least until she stumbled upon astrophysics, her first foray into the science brought that unnamable lust back. This time she felt it tenfold.

It became an obsession, the need to prove she was right, to find that bridge that led to the unknown. She delved head first into the fringe sciences, nothing was important any more than proving her theories. The nightmares returned, more vivid and cold than before. She slept little, and ate even less, her whole existence now 'the bridge.'

When she did sleep, she woke so cold that she thought she would never warm. Her night filled with images of ice and snow, blue limbs entangled with one another. A mother's anguished cry echoed in her dreams, a father's rage filled her breast. And with each nightmare the feeling of displacement grew.

Everything quieted for a time when Thor came. He could silence the darkness; fill it with warmth and light. She thought she had finally found her place in the world. The bridge was real; everything she had believed was right before her eyes. Only she could still feel the whispering of discontent in the back of her mind, reminding her that it was only temporary. She had not found what she wanted, what she needed.

When Thor left, Jane told herself the reason for the return of the darkness and lust was because she no longer had him. She knew better, she knew why it had grown after he left, and it had nothing to do with him.

For one single moment Jane had felt whole, when she had looked up into the face of the Destroyer. For that one moment Jane found herself removed from Earth, her feet planted on slick ice while she gazed into sad red eyes. She had felt right, she felt belonging for the first time in her entire life, and just as fast as it came it was ripped away from her.

Now as she looked up into the night sky, Jane wondered what she had seen that day. She wondered why she had felt at home there in that land of ice and snow.

She looked down at her hands, their slender white fingers curled around her coffee cup. The images of her nightmare the night before filling her mind, the coldness creeping into her bones.

* * *

_ The cold had returned, crawling up from her toes to the very core of her. Her eyes fluttered open and she couldn't help the gasp that escaped her lips at what she saw._

_ The world around her seemed engulfed in a perpetual darkness, the kind that quietly crept in and no amount of light could drive away. Everything was encased in ice so clear she knew it would have glittered like crystal in firelight. _

_ The wind howled around her, sweeping snow across her body, but she did not feel the sting she would have expected from such a cold winter. Her eyes roamed down her body, a scream catching in her throat. Skin that had once been as milky as fresh cream, now held a dark blue tint. Small lines and dots covered her from head to toe, reminding Jane of the Earth practice of scarification. The pattern was so intricate that she was in awe. The lines swirled up her legs, curling into knots along her stomach and chest. Her black nailed fingers traced the patterns, and she felt a rightness about them. This was her, the marks, the blue skin, the cold body draped in fur. This was who she was, how she was meant to look._

_ A hand just as blue as her own captured hers as she skimmed over the dark fur tied tightly around her breasts. Her eyes moved up the arm until she caught the eyes of the man before her. She remembered those eyes, red as fire and just as hot. They had seen her that day, the first time she remembered this land of ice._

_ He smiled and pulled her to him, his arms curling around her possessively. She should have felt angered, but she only felt safe. This was where she was supposed to be. She had always been meant for this man, just as he had always been meant for her._

_ "I have been kept from you for too long, but no longer. I will be coming for you." The man leaned down and placed his marked forehead against hers, holding her just that much tighter._

_ "Who are you?" Jane wrapped her arms around him, the feeling of his cold flesh on hers seeming to squelch the lust she had felt for so long._

_ "There are many names that I have been given, by Asgard, Midgard, and our own people. But for now you may simply call me yours." His hand slipped between them and cupped her chin, forcing her to look at him._

_ "How much longer?" Jane longed to press her lips to his, to taste his mouth and tongue, to bring him into her._

_ "Soon, My Dear, so very soon." His thumb slipped up until he could press it gently against her bottom lip, pulling down until he could feel the moist inner lip._

_ "How will I know when; where?" Jane dipped her tongue out, just touching the tip of his thumb before he removed his hand._

_ "You'll just know. That lust, the thirst inside of you; that has always been for me. When it grows so strong that you can barely stand, where it almost vibrates throughout your body; that is how you will know. There will be those that try to keep you away, but you must come to me. Promise that you will find me, promise me." His hand curled around the base of her neck, burrowing its way into her hair, pulling her ever closer._

_ "I promise…Loki…"_

* * *

Jane jerked out of her thoughts as the shattering of her coffee cup rang through her ears. It had taken her the entire day of going over her dream to remember the name, the promise she had made. Now that she could recall it Jane felt more lost than ever before.

* * *

For the longest time Jane to forced herself to believe that her dream had been just that, a dream. That her brain had been filled with so much Norse mythology, too much reading after Thor went back home. But she knew better.

Each day the darkness crept closer, the longing and pull for something grew and grew until she thought she would weep for the pain she felt. Something was coming, he was coming. She knew it in her heart, felt it in her very bones.

She should have told SHIELD, helped them to prepare, but she could never bring herself to say a word. The dream of his arms around her, of the safety and completeness she felt with him kept coming to the fore of her mind.

So when SHIELD offered her the opportunity to work in Tromso she hesitated. In the end she accepted, but the moment she set foot on the plane she had known the mistake she had made. She explained to Darcy that she had a few things to pick up, and left her assistant.

She didn't waste any time with the SHIELD agents that tried to lead her back to the plane, she simply left the airport and hailed a taxi. She wasn't sure where to go, but she knew that he would lead her to him.

She leaned back in the cab, her eyes closing as she whispered his name. She could feel something tickle across her hand, a coldness that sent waves of comfort through her. When she looked down at her hand she smiled at the blue skin and patterns she saw there.

Her hand squeezed around the phantom touch as she leaned up and rattled off some random address to the cabbie. She smiled as they drove away, she was finally going home.

* * *

Author's Note: Ok, so I really, really don't know where this came from. A rabid plot bunny hit me and I had to write it. Though not my OTP, I do enjoy Lokane from time to time.

Anyway, I just had this thought, what if Loki wasn't the only child to be stolen away, and what if they were meant for each other, and the reason why Jane has always been so adamant about finding the bridge is because she was subconsciously trying to find a way home. So here you are!

And as for the title….yeah I couldn't figure out a good one and this was one of the songs I was listening to.

Now maybe I can work on what I was supposed to work on, lol…

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


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